“Because you are going to have to pay close attention to what I am about to tell you. Do you understand, Darby?”“Uhh, yeah. Okay,” Darby replied, not sure what Nora was about to say.Nora sat back in her chair. “OK. Yesterday you came to me looking for advice about what to do to make your dad feel better. I told you I had an idea. But for this to work, before we get started, we need to be absolutely honest with each other. Plus I need you to swear to me that even if you hate my idea, what I tell you stays a secret, okay. Can you do that?”“Of course I’ll keep your secrets. And I’m always honest with you. I’ve never lied to you.”“I know, but that’s not what I mean. Let me show you the kind of honesty I’m talking about. So like, when you masturbate, who do you think about?”Darby gasped, “The fuck?! What does that ha—”“You want my help? Just answer the question.”“That’s kinda personal, but fine! Fine! It’s Idris Elba, okay? Happy? Nosy bitch!” Darby smiled at her friend.Nora looked at. Yeah yeah just go on and on and on. I was feeling the heat swirling up between my legs. My heart was racing. The universe for once was on my side and whollop and crash, lightening struck. Hey, I mean it. The thunder was tremendous and the heavens opened. It started pouring, which made me scream and jump up, nearly knocking his drink out of his hand. “Nothing to be scared about” he said to which I looked at him like he turned into a two headed monkey. Right again I thought. With another crash, the house kind of shook and we were plunged in darkness. Fuck fuck fuck I thought. Just my luck. Adonis brought me down to earth with, “excuse me, have you got any candles?” Candles! Of course. What a prat!!!! Rummaging about in the cupboard I got out some candles. “And how about lighting the fire? Seems like you were going to do just that.” Fifteen minutes later, the fire was roaring, the living room dimly and romantically lit with candles, he just sat back and continued his litany on life.
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